The Ramblings of a Generalist

Blues for America

2006-02-10T14:56:00.000+11:00

I always enjoy reading articles by Kurt Vonnegut, his latest is titled Vonnegut's Blues for America which is an excerpt from his latest book A Man Without A country: A Memoir Of Life In George W Bush's America. The excerpt just seems to take all that is wrong with the world and put it into beautifully written words.

[M]usic. It makes practically everybody fonder of life than he or she would be without it. Even military bands, although I am a pacifist, always cheer me up. And I really like Strauss and Mozart and all that, but the priceless gift that African Americans gave the whole world when they were still in slavery was a gift so great that it is now almost the only reason many foreigners still like us at least a little bit. That specific remedy for the worldwide epidemic of depression is a gift called the blues. All pop music today – jazz, swing, be-bop, Elvis Presley, the Beatles, the Stones, rock-and-roll, hip-hop, and on and on – is derived from the blues.
A gift to the world? One of the best rhythm-and-blues combos I ever heard was three guys and a girl from Finland playing in a club in Krakow, Poland.
The wonderful writer Albert Murray, who is a jazz historian and a friend of mine among other things, told me that during the era of slavery in this country – an atrocity from which we can never fully recover – the
suicide rate per capita among slave owners was much higher than the suicide rate among slaves.
Murray says he thinks this was because slaves had a way of dealing with depression, which their white owners did not: They could shoo away Old Man Suicide by playing and singing the Blues. He says something else which also sounds right to me. He says the blues can’t drive depression
clear out of a house, but can drive it into the corners of any room where it’s being played. So please remember that.

It's hard to believe he is 80 years old.

Make Snack Fly, See Spot Run

2006-01-24T09:09:00.000+11:00

I found this great new product over at Boing Boing this morning.

It is called Snackshotz. Basically it is a toy gun designed to fire a specially designed dog food pellet for the dog to run and eat. The theory is that it will give you and your dog more precious bonding time as well as help the dog fight the growing risk of obesity that is so common in pets today by running before he ingests the tasty treat.

To anyone thinking this product sounds appealing... How about you help your own obesity and just throw the damn dog food pellets yourself?

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Seven Days Without Prayer Makes One Weak

2006-01-23T15:26:00.000+11:00

Here it is! You can now make your own clever wordplays and have them displayed on a church sign that you can save for future use as demonstrated below.

Enjoy!

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Monopoly Rules

2006-01-18T16:32:00.000+11:00

I absolutely love the board game Monopoly, so I was pleased to discover a page listing people's variations on the standard rules.

There are some great ideas. Like this one...

Six Railroads
Rule: The two utilities are treated like additional railroads. They cost $200 to buy and can be mortgaged for $100. The rent for five railroads is $400 and for six railroads is $800.
Reason: Makes the utilities actually worth having and a railroad tycoon a serious opponent.

Makes me think a bit more about the various possibilities. I guess the possibilities for variation is one of the things that makes Monopoly such a great enduring game.

All I need now is to convince somebody to play a game with me.

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Could I Have a Moment of Your Time?

2006-01-17T12:37:00.000+11:00

I found this nifty little counterscript for dealing with pesky telemarketers.

Telemarketers have things just like these for talking to you. There are standard responses to circumvent any resistances you might have to giving them some of your cash.

With this counterscript you can be just as fast on your feet. It is printable as a nice PDF, so go ahead and have one handy by the phone.

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7 Lists I Don't Want to See in del.icio.us

2006-01-16T12:13:00.000+11:00

I was reading over at the Problogger blog that a good way to increase traffic to your blog is to get it listed as a popular site on del.icio.us. A good way to do this is to make a list. Great! We are going to start witnessing a deluge of lists like 4 ways to poach an egg.

I thought I would preempt all of this by being a bit postmodern and making a list of lists I don't want to see. Here it is.

5 Good Things About Having a Rootkit Installed on your Machine
8 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Read Blogs at Work
6 Things That Make Norton AntiVirus Worthwhile
50 Ways to Leave Your Lover
12 Bad Things About Open Source Software
9 Ways Big Business Helps The Environment
This List

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The Beatles for Trainspotters

2006-01-13T15:37:00.000+11:00

What Goes On - The Beatles Anomalies List

I discovered this page in my web travels. It has extensive details on anomalies and items of curiosity to be found in the Beatles recordings.

I was aware of some of them, like the swearing in Hey Jude that once you know is there stands out a mile, but whoever has documented all of this sure is thorough.

Read it and marvel.

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Elliott Smith Rarities

2006-01-12T14:19:00.000+11:00

One of my favourite blogs aka::Raff pointed me to an awesome page which has downloads for Elliott Smith tracks that are not available anywhere else. There are also copies of demos recorded during the making of each of his albums.

I absolutely love Elliott's music and I was shattered when he died. If you haven't heard any of his stuff, you should go straight to Amazon or your nearest record store and buy a copy of XO. It's the best album to get a taste for his music.

Or, just download some of the stuff... either way, you won't be dissapointed.

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Economics of Pricing

2006-01-10T14:08:00.000+11:00

Today I read, a very interesting article over at Slate.

The subject of the article was about Starbucks' invisible short sizing for coffees. It is supposedly a better coffee due to the fact that it has a higher espresso to milk ratio, the milk has better froth due to the smaller quantity, and it's cheaper. But you won't see it on any of their menus. Why they offer it and not publicise it was what I found most interesting about the article.

A dilemma that a lot of businesses face when selling a commodity is how they price it. Too low and they won't make enough money, too high and the customer will go elsewhere. If a company offers a low priced product that appeals to everyone, who would buy the more expensive products with the higher profit margin? The trick is for the company to offer these products but make them unappealing to anybody who can afford that little bit extra.

Have you ever found yourself buying the more expensive box of tissues because you don't want to see a plain black and white box in your house? Join the club!

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More Record Industry Reactionism

2006-01-06T10:59:00.000+11:00

These guys know no limits to the stupidity of trying to control how people listen to music?

Proud owners of the relatively new Coldplay album, X & Y have been greeted by a rather nice list of things they cannot do with their CD.

You are prevented from playing the CD in "some" CD players:

CD-recordable or rewritable hard drives
DVD players
Game consoles such as a Playstation or Xbox

Great! Why don't they just make a big law that it will be 1993 forever? Which other industries would benefit from a law like this? I'm sure the photographic industry would have liked something that made it illegal to capture an image without using film.

A nice reply to the record industry regarding this is over at the Consumerist blog in their article.

Dear RIAA - here’s an interesting question for you. When you tell your customers (by definition, the only people who are actually guaranteed to have paid for the album they are listening to) that they didn’t actually purchase anything for their twenty bucks, what is stopping them from loading up DC++ next time and just downloading a pristine DRM-less copy of your next shitty release?

There is a nice parody of the Coldplay DRM restrictions. It asks the question, what if these rules were applied to a take away pizza?

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Witness Protection

2006-01-05T11:48:00.000+11:00

I had an idea the other day for people in the Mafia that have been 'flipped' by the feds. For those of you that don't watch The Sopranos, this means that they have been arrested by the FBI and rather than do prison time are forced to turn against the family by becoming an informant and ultimately getting some damning information on tape.

These people are no longer any use the family, so why don't they tell their boss as soon as it happens? Then, instead of getting whacked because they have given over information to the FBI, they can be given a new identity by the family and dissapear. Kind of a mob version of witness protection if you will.

Some of you might say that those true to the family should do their time in prison, but this way there is another option for these people.

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On Resource Trading

2006-01-03T11:43:00.000+11:00

I was watching part two of the TV version of The Corporation last week. Comments from Michael Walker, who is president of the obviously neo-liberal think tank the Fraser Institute was talking about how wonderful the world could be if we would just commoditise natural resources.

I can't remember his exact words, but basically he said, if we could take the current pollution levels and grant licenses to the polluters and sell licenences for similair levels to others, there is an incentive for the organizations to reduce their pollution. Or, they can buy excess usage from lesser polluters with licences. The more we do this the better.

My thoughts are this. How can we continue to allow the devastation of our environment to people who have the most money?

Would Michael Walker happily drink a glass of water that I had pissed in, if I told him that I bought a licence from someone who hadn't pissed in their glass of water?

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Email Yourself in the Future

2005-10-03T12:30:00.000+10:00

Further to my post the other day about writing letters to yourself, I have discovered a website that allows you to do just that.

FutureMe.org is simple, just put in the email address, the date and the message. It will hold it until you want it sent and then out of the blue a message from the past will arrive in your inbox.

It's a great idea, now all I need to do is think of something to say.

Stupid People

2005-09-29T10:08:00.000+10:00

Somebody has come up with a good explanation for what makes a person stupid.

According to The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity, there a four types of people in the world. They are identified by their interactions with others and the end benefit to both parties.

Helpful People - Generally the other party will be better off at the end of the interaction.
Intelligent People - Both parties will be better off after the interaction.
Stupid People - Both parties will be worse off after the interaction.
Bandits - The bandit will be better off at the end of the interaction.

Obviously it's much more detailed than that. The most important thing for you the casual reader to know is the fifth basic law.

A stupid person is the most dangerous type of person.

The corollary of the Law is that:

A stupid person is more dangerous than a bandit.

Remember, there's no such thing as a stupid question... only stupid people.

Brian Wilson will call you

2005-09-29T09:33:00.000+10:00

According to his website, Brian Wilson would like as many people as possible to make donations to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort.

As a bonus, if you donate US$100 or more, Brian will call you personally and let you ask him one question... and he will match the donation. Sounds like a great thing for any Beach Boys fans out there.

According to Boing Boing, it's true...

Reader comment: Paul says: "In case anyone asks you 'is this real,' the answer is yes. My friend David called me on Monday all excited. He had donated $160 and Brian Wilson called. Brian asked David 'so, do you have any questions for me' and David said 'no, I'm just a big fan,' and then Brian and David chatted star-to-fan for a couple of minutes."

Let me know if you do it.

Simply Rerecorded

2005-09-28T11:32:00.000+10:00

In order to get around the fact that Warner owns the recordings to all of Simply Red's hits, Mick Hucknall has decided to re-record the entire back catalogue.

"Warner has all of the rights to the original recordings, but they don't seem to be doing an awful lot with them," says the band's manager, Ian Grenfell. "We think we can do more with those recordings than they can. We've got a dozen people and all they work on is Simply Red."

The band hopes that they will be able to licence the new recordings for commercials and movies. But don't have any plans soon to exploit the fans by rereleasing their albums in the new form.

I think this would be worthwhile if they also redo the album photography with the band as they look today! I can't wait for other bands to follow.

Thing Generators

2005-09-27T16:47:00.000+10:00

If you're looking for a band name or a blog name or random plotline for Law and Order this is your site, the Generator Blog.

It's basically one place to find all of your name generator requirements. Take a look.

Deadly Dolphins

2005-09-26T14:45:00.000+10:00

Alright! I can't believe this one is actually true, but there it is from one of the worlds most trusted news providers.

Dolphins trained to attack and kill by the U.S. Navy may have escaped from their training facility in the wake of floods caused by Hurricane Katrina. They are denying whether it is true or not. You'll have to read the story for yourself as it's too fantastic to believe.

What I want to know is, if it's true, where did they get the idea for this from? It sounds like the sharks with lasers attached to them that Dr. Evil wanted to use in the first Austin Powers movie.

Better be careful when your swimming out there.

100 Most Misspelled Words

2005-09-26T14:42:00.000+10:00

Take a look over at yourDictionary.com at this list of most commonly misspelled words. There were a few there that surprised me!

Cooking Lessons

2005-09-26T14:34:00.000+10:00

Over at AZCentral.com there is a basic cooking course available for those of us who wish to know a little more about cooking. It starts of with basic skills like organizing the kitchen, knife basics and boiling water (there's more to it than that?) and then leads on to more detail like roasts, making sauces and baking pies. There's even an exam at the end. It looks good.

Just remember, don't try to feed the food you make to your computer!

Writing to Yourself

2005-09-23T09:53:00.000+10:00

A nice article over at D*I*Y Planner about occasionally writing letters to yourself. It gives you the chance to step outside of yourself and view your current situation objectively.

"If you’re thinking about quitting your job, describe what is going on to make you want to quit; pretend you are listening to your best friend talking and give them advice."

And reading them later can be a great way to remember how you felt after a particular thing or stage in your life.

Cute Book Labels

2005-09-23T09:46:00.000+10:00

Over at the Martha Stewart website there is a link to some cute book labels for kids that you can download as a PDF and print in colour onto sticky labels.

Spyware Phonies

2005-09-23T08:50:00.000+10:00

Here is a list of spyware programs that are in fact spyware. This website contains lists of the good and the bad.

The real shame is a lot of these phonies have taken good product names away from potential software developers!

Finding the Next Book

2005-09-22T09:37:00.000+10:00

What Should I Read Next? is a website that allows you to enter the author or title of a book you have enjoyed reading and it will make recommendations based on what others have enjoyed. It even gives a link to Amazon for each book if your feeling impulsive.

Beat Blisters

2005-09-22T09:26:00.000+10:00

I got this great tip from Lifehacker today.

MacGyver Tip: Got blisters? Use Duct Tape.

Are blisters ruining your day? Do band-aids keep sweating off? No moleskin on-hand? Try duct tape! It cushions the blister and won’t come off. Many walkers and runners swear by it.

Apply the duct tape when you first feel burning and, hopefully, before a full blister develops. Lay it as smoothly as possible, avoiding wrinkles.
Blisters already exist? Shield them from the duct tape glue. Cut out a circle of paper or gauze, attach it to the center of the duct tape and cover the wound with the non-sticky part.

War on Weather

2005-09-22T08:48:00.000+10:00

With Hurricane Rita looming, when is President Bush going to declare a War on Weather. It makes sense doesn't it? Plenty of people have been killed as a result of Hurricane Katrina and the U.S. government was not able to respond to the aftermath in any efficient manner.

I think it's time to get serious and accept that climbing temperatures are contributing these storms and other problems like drought.

C'mon people let's declare War on Weather!

Change the locks...

2005-09-21T16:35:00.000+10:00

When you move into a new house, or this might happen to you...

Another young man, Paul Cox, age 21, left a bar in a New York City suburb and drove off — too fast — with two friends. The last thing he remembers is rounding a curve with one of his friends saying, "You're not going to make it." The next thing he knew he was waking up in his bed with no clothes on. His mother has come in to tell him the police had called her to say they had found her car abandoned. She asked him what happened. He had no idea. His friends told him later that after he hit a guardrail, he got out of the car and walked off. The next day, the community was buzzing about a man and his wife, both doctors, who were stabbed 24 times in their beds.

The Coxes had once lived in the home, and the murdered couple was sleeping in Paul's former room. The murders had occurred on the night of Paul's blackout. He was haunted by guilt. Two years later, his girlfriend persuaded him to go to Alcoholics Anonymous, where he spoke of his fears about that night. Two years later, an AA member went to the police with his story. Detectives matched his fingerprints to those found at the murder scene. He was later tried and convicted and sentenced to more than a century in prison.

I found this on an article related to memory loss and alcohol. Interesting and a little scary.

The Jetsons

2005-09-21T16:34:00.000+10:00

I was flicking through the channels on pay TV the other day when I noticed The Jetsons starting on one of the cartoon channels.

Something sinister about the Jetsons occurred to me that I had never thought about before. If the future is supposed to be so great, why is everything set way up high above the ground? Is it that the surface of our planet is uninhabitable in the future?
Maybe it is completely taken up with farmland to grow food, maybe the ground is completely laid to waste with mining and garbage dumps, maybe it is all parkland (yeah right) or maybe that’s where the poor people live.

The vision for a better tomorrow isn’t made any better by the fact that the only places apparently being built are schools, sports stadiums, shopping centres, businesses and apartment buildings. Something that is unfortunately being mirrored in our modern day world (except for schools).

Is there nothing else for us? What about gardens, parks, places to walk and ride bikes.

Cheat Sheets

2005-09-21T16:23:00.000+10:00

Our Favorite Cheat Sheets - a Whatis.com definition

A great page listing "cheat sheets" for various applications and operating systems.

Keyboard shortcuts for Office programs, HTML, all kinds of stuff.

This one is more technical, but is has a good sheet for Google.

I'm Back!

2005-08-05T11:47:00.000+10:00

Hello there dear reader,

Yes, I know it's been a long time and I apologise for my absence from the Blogosphere. I have recently been through a very busy period in my life with the changing of jobs.

It has been a tumultuous period with the frantic tidying up of duties and things that I had been putting off in my old job (probably to write blogs!) and then the steep uphill climb of establishing myself in the new job.

I am very pleased with the change and have found that moving away from the stale environment of my old job has done me the world of good. It feels like my body is running properly (almost) again! I still have a lot of sleep to catch up on, but I think that should be rectified soon.

Anyway, I have had a little time to find some cool stuff on the web and have a backlog of things to write about.

So keep on checking in on me.
All the best,

The Rambler.

Eggs Anyone?

2005-07-12T09:49:00.000+10:00

B3TA : FEATURES : HOW TO POACH AN EGG

File this is in your 'that's how it's done' file. Rob Manuel has performed a scientific service to us all with the assistance of information found with Google on the best way to poach eggs.

As someone who has basically given up on making poached eggs at home due to results similair to his first two experiments I am very pleased to see how it's done by the chefs of places where I enjoy eating perfectly poached eggs.

How is it done you ask. By cracking the egg into microwave safe cling film and then throwing the package into the boiling water.

Brilliant! Although my wife won't like the over reliance on cling film.

Should I Throw That Out?

2005-06-21T09:18:00.000+10:00

Real Simple | Surprising Expiration Dates

I came across this interesting page in my net travels today. It is a fairly comprehensive list of general grocery items and how long you can expect them to last.

For example white rice will supposedly last 2 years from purchase while dried pasta is only good for 12 months. Honey amazingly, will last indefinitely.

Anyway, I could list them all, or you could take a look for yourself.

BAD Fortune

2005-06-17T09:41:00.000+10:00

An interesting article in the Guardian today about the extent of Michael Jackson's financial situation. A lot of people I know weren't aware that Michael made a deal with Sony years ago to share the royalties from the Beatles publishing rights when he needed to raise extra to pay for his extravagant habits. It's definitely worth a read.

Now that the trial is over and Michael has been cleared. OJ was, why not Michael? I think he needs to seriously consider Marlon Brando's offer and live the rest of his life as a recluse. He needs to do it for his own sake and that of anybody else who might possibly be affected by his actions in the future.

If he wants to, and lays low, he could consider a comeback in about 10 years.

Sprol - Tasmania's Forests

2005-06-15T09:38:00.000+10:00

Sprol: Pulping The World, Part 2: Tasmania,Australia

I've been meaning to blog this site for a while. They made it easy for me with an entry on the state of deforestation in my part of the world... Australia.

The Sprol blog entries use satellite photography to illustrate our impact on the planet. Today they are showing the extent of damage done to the wetland rainforests of Tasmania.

I found it shocking and sad to see the areas of forest completely levelled. A lot of the logging is in supposedly protected forests and concerned people are helpless in fighting it.

I enjoyed reading their take on how old these trees actually are...

"People seem to have a hard time with time spans longer than their own lifetimes.

Picture a seedling in the year 1555. The English were burning clergymen at the stake at that time. Back then, in South America, Brazil -- which was named for the Portuguese word for the red color of brazilwood, which the early visitors would clear cut -- Brazil was being settled by the French. That's how long ago it was."

And how they trivialised the end use of the paper product...

"That seedling, grown and felled yesterday, to make a product manual that no one is going to read, and cardboard for boxes to ship it, and cardboard for that extra printed marketing sleeve that comes around the box. To make paper for laser printed documents that people will forget to pick up at the workgroup printer."

I really don't know how we can stop all of this.

File under What Next?

2005-06-08T09:08:00.000+10:00

A short blog to get back into the swing of things.

According to this article, Walmart has refused to make prints of photos a mother took of her son. The reason, it looked too professional and therefore must have been taken by a professional. They refused to print the image without authorisation from the photographer. Of course, unable to provide said proof as they don't believe she took the photo, they will not print it.

This is another example of crazy fear for loss of another form of control on intellectual property with the arrival of the digital era. Walmart and other third party photo printers should simply take the contact details of the person putting in the images for printing and make them sign a disclaimer. This should remove the onus from them. That way if a professional photographer ever finds out (yeah right), and he knocks on Walmart's door, they can show who received the print and send him on his merry way. Or, maybe the photographers could start to think differently and maybe charge for the actual work they do... taking the photo.

How they can claim copyright on an image of YOU is crazy to me.

A Record Deal You Can't Refuse

2005-05-12T10:34:00.000+10:00

MAFIAA - Music And Film Industy Association of America

It's official! Well not really, this is an April Fools gag, but the sentiment is very real. According to the press release the Motion Picture Association of America, Inc. (MPAA) and the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) announced the historic merger of the two organizations. The newly-created entity is being called the Music And Film Industry Association of America, Inc. or the aptly abbreviated MAFIAA. This will allow them to create a stronger focus on pursuing their precious copyrights and streamline their government lobbying efforts.

I find it amazing that when the technology arrived for the streamlined distribution of their material (songs and movies) and the possiblity of a greatly improved economy of scale, they go ahead and think they can charge the same price for their work despite it not being on a CD and shipped to a shop somewhere. Instead, the charge 1.99 per song and they want to retain control over the product after you have purchased it using digital rights management (DRM). Slowly, I feel we are being watched more and more.

It's the signs of a dying industry when the powers that be can't adapt properly. Bring on the time when the kid's stop buying the corporate bubblegum crap, all artists can produce their own music and we'll buy straight from them! Karaoke Idols can sing at the local pub!

Are You Ready?

2005-05-04T09:58:00.000+10:00

It's nice to know these things are out there. Somebody has created and maintains a website called Rapture Ready which contains The Rapture Index, it's something really quite wonderful (or should that read scary?)

If you're not familiar (and I wasn't to begin with), the Rapture is a term used by certain elements of christian eschatology (those that study the end of the world) to describe the time when all believers will be whisked away to heaven and the sinners will remain to suffer the rest of the bad stuff end of the world.

It's not meant to predict the end of the world, just index the likelihood.

You decide for yourself, but I think it's a little convenient that it doesn't matter if you contributed to the problems, as long as you are ready, you will be taken away before the shit hits the fan.

There is also a website that allows you to create a maillist of family members and loved ones who aren't ready. It will send them a letter by email to tell them where you have gone.

It might be better for us left behind to rebuild our ravaged world without those kind of people hanging around.

Don't Panic

2005-05-03T09:40:00.000+10:00

In my travels around the net I have been fortunate enough to stumble across The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

As a fan of the books and the seventies BBC TV series I am looking forward to going to see the movie. In the meantime, the internet based actual guide contains everything one could want to know about Life, the Universe and Everything. As opposed to other online encyclopedias, the article contributors have tried to include a Douglas Adams style humorous tone to each of the entries. Check it out.

I will post a review of the movie when I see it.

Forget the DaVinci Code

2005-04-20T13:34:00.000+10:00

AlterNet: A Game As Old As Empire

If you want to read a great conspiracy story, you can't go past this one and it's true.

The link is to an interview with John Perkins, author of Confessions of an Economic Hit Man and it talks about his time with Chas. T. Main, a Boston based international consulting firm that worked with (persuaded) countries to take on infrastructure development loans which were given on the proviso that American firms provide the construction services.

Most of the recipients of these loans have fallen into a situation where they cannot repay these loans and have been forced into submission by aid agencies and other organisatons like the World Bank. Now here's the scary part, this is not a by product of well meaning investors, it was the original intention.

Read the article and let other people know. You'll only read it in the independant media.

iPodiots!

2005-04-15T12:07:00.000+10:00

It used to look cool I suppose, people with white ear phones plugged in and the white cord leading from the ears down into a pocket or bag containing the mystical iPod.

I work in a University and on my travels around campus I find I can't look in any direction without finding one of these people walking around. My friend refers to them as iPodiots, I think it describes them well. The iPod isn't the best player out there, it might be the coolest, but who really needs to be walking around with 10,000 songs in their pocket?

What I want to know is the when is saturation point reached? Surely Mac can't keep the cool factor going on something that has become ubiquitous.

I love my little iRiver MP3 player. It only holds about 70 songs, but it wasn't that long ago I had to take out a tape and turn it over after 5 songs and the headphones are a nice dark blue. To the casual observer, I could be listening to anything, even a portable gramophone!

I did a Google search for iPodiot and got no results. Could this be the first recorded instance of a new word? Don't you mourn the days when people talked of more important things?

It tastes just like Cherry Cola

2005-03-31T08:56:00.000+10:00

BBC NEWS | Magazine | Well placed

Well, haven't we come a long way from the Kinks being forced to change the lyrics in Lola from Coca Cola to Cherry Cola.

McDonalds have just made an offer of $5 to any Rap performers who have a reference to the Big Mac in their lyrics and it is played on the radio. That's $5 each time it's played! It makes you feel dirty doesn't it?

Product placements are starting to become more prominent on television as the powers that be try to combat people with TiVO's and the like who are now able to skip their commercials completely. You can't fast forward commercials if they are part of the show, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is a beautiful example of an entertaining hour of worship at the consumerist altar.

Anyway, if we see a future where ads are replaced by product placements, I think it will be good, product placements are so cynical that for me, it removes any slim amount of credibility from the product completely. Somehow, I don't think it will happen that easily.

One day hopefully, they'll pay me for referencing their shit in my Blog!

Star Wars Trilogy - Tweaked Again!

2005-03-23T09:28:00.000+11:00

Star Wars Trilogy - 2004 DVD Changes

Now before I start, don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those obsessive Star Wars fans.

It has been pointed out on the above link that further changes have been made to the Star Wars trilogy (the real films) on the latest release on DVD. What I want to know is when will George Lucas stop messing with these and how many more times can he bleed the fans of their hard earned cash with these movies.

The question of messing with a completed piece art that has already been placed into the public sphere also has to be raised. What would happen if they decided that the special effects in the Wizard of Oz would look cooler if they were redone with CGI? It's only a slither off the Ministry of Truth in George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four.

If nothing else, these changes appear to have been made to add credibility to Lucas' poorly executed prequel trilogy. Let's just hope the final one is good.

Paris for President

2005-03-11T14:06:00.000+11:00

This was the slogan I saw on a girls tank top today as I was walking back to my office from lunch. I guess the scary thing was I know who Paris is. Oh how I wish I lived under a rock and found this slogan nonsensical. "Paris for President? How can a place have a job? Next they'll have t-shirts saying Addis Ababa for Governor General."

But alas, I know who Paris is and my reaction was "Sure why not president, she got everything else by doing nothing." It got me thinking about the whole Paris Hilton phenomenon, apart from how a total skank got to be a role model for millions of teenage girls, I think it reveals a lot about what captures the imaginations of the collective public. This girl has become famous for being famous. She was born with all the money she will ever need and yet she feels the need for fame too.

We currently live in a world where most people would like to be rich and famous without having to do any work for it and we idolize those people who have managed to achieve it.

Book: Planet Simpson

2005-02-25T15:34:00.000+11:00

I have just finished reading Planet Simpson by Chris Turner. It is written by an academic with a very genuine love for The Simpsons. Although at times it can be a little wordy when the author gets into full flow, it nicely illustrates how over the course of more than 13 seasons, the writers of The Simpsons have created an entire parallel universe that can be used to lampoon most elements of the very complicated and crazy world we live in.

The main chapters of the book present the reader with essays on Homer as the embodiment of modern life in America and the Baby Boomer generation, Bart is the punk icon, Lisa as the social conscience of the show and in the words of the author probably the character closest resembling the ideologies of the writers, Marge as the voice of the moral majority and C. Montgomery Burns is used to represent the real rulers of western society; Capital and Corporations.

As a huge fan of the show myself, I found the numerous references to excerpts from various episodes quite amusing. I was a little disturbed however, to find that I vividly remembered every example!!

Towards the end of the book I found it to be overly long, but I enjoyed every page. I would recommend this book for any fan of the show who understands most of the jokes!

Rating: ***

Thoughts on turning 30

2005-02-21T14:18:00.000+11:00

Yesterday was my 30th birthday. It got me starting to think about those hopes and dreams from my late teens and early twenties that have fallen by the wayside. At the very least I would have liked to be responsible for something as important as helping to end the cold war. Of course I was a little young for that, and it would have stolen David Hasselhoff's thunder.

Check out this article... BBC NEWS | Magazine | Did David Hasselhoff really help end the Cold War?

I think for most of us, in our younger years, 30 sounds like a long way off. We heed none of that advice from older people that the time will fly. I mean what do they know? Right?

The problem with dreams of fame and success, is that you only hear about the people that have made it. They tell you "If you dream hard enough, no one can stop you." They don't tell you, "If you don't make it, no one will hear you."

Don't take any of this to mean that I am bitter, as I get older, I realise that they are silly goals and that family, love and self reliance are much more honorable goals (and attainable for all).

Kyoto, not just a Tokyo for anagram lovers

2005-02-16T10:22:00.000+11:00

The Australian: Kyoto a pointless exercise [February 16, 2005]

Today is the day the Kyoto Protocol comes into effect.

Interesting, I found an article in Rupert Murdoch's Australian newspaper about the futility of the Kyoto Protocol.

The ridiculous author of this article refers to public figures willing to do something about global warming as "Climate Change Propagandists" and that future energy technologies are "dubious" and "doubtful" I can't really say any more to damn this guy that he hasn't said himself. The end of the article doesn't even say if this guy is qualified to comment on these things. I know this for sure though, his boss is the world's largest consumer of paper.

Addressing the problem is really only the first step. It's easy to make criticisms when not offering any alternative. Unlike the article in today's Sydney Morning Herald newspaper which sees Australia's current leader's refusal to participate in the first phase of the protocol as an opportunity to take part from 2012 when the protocol has evolved enough to begin the real battle with our environmental problems.

I fear that this current time we are living in, will be the period they look back on in the future as the time we could no longer claim not to know the extent of the damage we were causing to the planet, and were too greedy to do anything about it.

Don't Forget It

2005-02-15T08:38:00.000+11:00

Is there any object that is a more apt symbol of how far consumerism has been allowed to go? Isn't it enough that the boffins at Colgate inflict us with the latest in analog toothbrush technology every 8 or 9 months? With their twisting heads, rubber grips for the prevention of slippery toothbrush related accidents and their squeegees for drying each tooth as the brush goes past?

Why don't any of the innovations of non-powered toothbrushes reach the electric toothbrush? If you listen carefully, you can hear the electric toothbrush vibrating in response to all of these improvements with "Yes, but I'm electric! Why would you want all of the grips and squeegees when you don't even have to move your arm? If I existed 100 years ago, all of those old people would still have their teeth! Go on, you deserve it."

So help keep Duracell in business. What would that cute pink bunny do if you started to move your arm?

Don't even get me started about the Hummingbird electric flosser! I'm still getting over the fact that Oral-B no longer offer the toothbrush with the blue bristles that fade when it's time to get a new one!

Happy Valentine's Day

2005-02-14T15:27:00.000+11:00

This is a kind hearted reminder to all of you lovers out there to buy your cards, chocolates, flowers and lingerie for your significant other on Valentine's Day this year. If you want to make a real impact (on your lover and the air) consider skywriting. Never before has it been so important (or so easy) to show your love.

... and remember, making a card using recycled paper is just being cheap!

The Planetary Shuffle

2005-02-14T11:13:00.000+11:00

Guardian Unlimited | Special reports | Global warming the key to life on Mars

A rather dry article to read today I'm afraid. It's nice to know "they" are thinking about where we can all go after the Earth has been exploited and rendered uninhabitable.

Scientists are thinking about ways that they could make Mars more hospitable for life in the future. Their solution? Let's use our expert knowledge on the effects of greenhouse gases to heat Mars to a level that will allow life to reawaken. I find it comforting to think that the knowledge of what we are doing to our own planet can be applied in a constructive way.

It's just a shame that we, the majority of humans can't work out that if doing this to Mars will make it more like Earth, won't doing the same thing to the Earth make it more like Venus?

Riots in Ikea

2005-02-11T10:08:00.000+11:00

Guardian Unlimited | The Guardian | Flatpack farrago

I couldn't believe it when I read this article. A riot in the new Ikea they've built in London. But I guess, after my few visits to that temple of Swedish practicality and european style I can see how it might happen. The car park at the Ikea in Moorabbin is alway full. I'm sure there are people driving around there from my last visit still looking for a spot!

The article states that Ikea is the place to get well priced moden furniture, but I have never found that to be the case. Sure, their advertising tells you that the FROOT hallway key holder is only $9, and you think "Wow! I've never even thought of a hallway key holder, but $9 is a great price and it would make me so European!" But really when you get there to buy anything useful, it's quite expensive when you realise it's sawdust glued together to make wood and you need to assemble the pieces they have put in the box for you. Having said that, I have been to Ikea a few times and am quite taken by the simplicity, stylishness and practicality of their BILLY shelf system and the complementing BENO CD shelves.

I have been taken in by their cheaper bits and pieces in the Market Hall, which is the section that you visit last in the labyrinth. The whole floor plan of Ikea must be designed to bamboozle you into a weak state of mind. You've walked through the big furniture areas and seen all of the cool room setups and thought to yourself "Man, those Swedes sure have style. If I didn't already have a house full of furniture, I'd love to set up my home like this." You've gotten past the lighting section without spending money on their THOMB lamp that is paper wrapped around coat hangers with a light bulb inside. But there it is, the Market Hall. If you don't buy something, you're no closer to living the Scandinavian dream. There they were, a set of measuring cups for $3 that even included a cute little tiny one to measure a pinch! They were sure to add a bit of well needed style to our kitchen and they were green!

I guess, we all keep going back hoping to find a reason why everybody else is going. Or maybe, everybody likes the BILLY shelves as much as I do.

Cities of the Future?

2005-02-10T14:14:00.000+11:00

Rescuing the city's lost soul - National - www.theage.com.au

It's nice to read an article like this one that portrays a way forward from our current conundrum of living in suburbs that contain nothing but houses and cars.

A visiting academic by the name of Michael Sorkin is currently in Melbourne to speak on his vision of how cities can become more inhabitable and less of an impact on the world at large.

Higher density living, less driving, rooftop gardens and populations of no more than a million per city are some of the ideas put forward.

Let's just hope that in the not too distant future, people will think this kind of lifestyle sounds more appealing than living in a McMansion 30-40 kilometres from where they work and having nothing to do on the weekends.

The Very First Entry!

2005-02-10T08:44:00.000+11:00

Well hello there nobody. I guess that you're the only one reading this as I must be the 23,059,752nd person in the world to do this.

I'm not too sure what I am going to write in this thing, but I guess it will be my comments on the world in general, how we need to get out of our consumerist dreamland, things I like watching on the tube (and things I don't like), articles and pages I see on the web and the odd glimpse into my private world.

Hopefully somebody somewhere will find it mildly amusing and hopefully in the long run, I become a better writer.

I watched Little Britain last night on TV. I live in Australia and it was the first episode of the second series. I am a huge fan of the first series and everyone who knows me, especially my wife is sick of me doing my impersonations of the characters. I must say though, that I was a little dissapointed with last nights episode. It seems like the show is too self concious. The sketches were more about grossing out the viewer than making them laugh. The favourite characters and catchphrases seemed to be too over the top with the exception of the Vicky Pollard sketch. Anyway, I will of course still watch the whole series and I hope it's not going to be same every week.

Bye for now.